Not Much to Report

There isn't a lot to tell you today, but I thought you might enjoy a little something I wrote a long time ago. We were out on our motor bike at the time and all the cows had their tails painted ready for the mating season. I wondered how the cows felt about that and this is what resulted.

THE LAMENT OF COW 174

Dear Farmer,

Today you painted the base of my tail blue. Next month, when my herd sisters have rubbed it off, you will paint it pink. Then, the biggest indignity of all, the man with "the bull in the bag" will come, with his arm covered up to his armpit in a rubber glove, and do unspeakable things. Well, I mean to say, would you like it? I think not.

I can remember my yearling year, when Boris and Ernest cavorted with me and my sister yearlings. Oh, but they are a couple of bulls! I see them in other paddocks with the new yearlings. I moo out to them, but they take no notice of me. I am either pregnant or they are too busy.

At the end of the mating season, those cows lucky enough not to have cycled regularly, get a visit. It's not fair!

So, my cow cocky friend, this is a warning. This year I'm not cycling at all. I shall shrug off all attempts to rub our my blue and pink stripes, because I want Ernest and I want him now!

Yours Sincerely,

Cow 174

PS Down with dogs. Cows rule OK.